Endless Excitement

So I'm still getting the hang of this blogging thing. I hope one day I can have a really terrific blog that everybody reads. Oh well.

Christmas is almost here. Brandon is like a little kid, so excited. Every year he starts right after Halloween and by December 15 he's tearing through the house laughing, skipping, and singing. (eEeEeEeE)At least I know that I still have a kid to get super excited, overwhelmed, and hyper. The other day he brought me a wrapped present and wanted to open it. This is a change from past years, when he just opened them without asking. It took some bribing, but I finally got him to watch a new Barney Christmas movie instead.

Brenda and Joe Christmas 2003

This year is especially difficult, my oldest sister Brenda died November 9. I don't remember ever spending a Christmas without her. She loved Brandon so much. Brandon is named after her and her husband, Joe, (Brandon Joseph).

I get melancholy at Christmastime, missing my parents, my brother and my sister. But new ones are here, our family is blessed with Gabriel, (who turns 1 today) and my two adorable great- nieces, Jessica and Georgia. I have a lot to be thankful for.

Merry Christmas

Endless childhood

Today, October 26, is Brandon's birthday. Thank you to all our friends and family for his birthday wishes! He's 19! Wow. When I look at him, I still see my little boy. I know I do this with all my kids, and my nephews and nieces, but with Brandon it is somewhat ironic,because he has never really grown up. I could have spent today feeling bad for all the things he cannot do like other 19 year old young men. Dating, working, college, buying a car, leaving home :( But luckily, as a mom, I don't have to deal with those things with him. Just not having to teach him to drive is a blessing. Instead, I get to play with model trains and Thomas the Tank Engine, make Elmo birthday cakes, color with Purple crayons, and sing Itsy Bitsy spider and the Wheels on the Bus with him. Brandon is happy, and doesn't miss what he doesn't know. Right now, he is happily using the computer to browse youtube, eating popcorn, ( I hate to mention that he's naked, but he's got his clothes nearby and he'll get them on as soon as he finds the video he wants) and waiting for his first cake. (We will have his offical birthday party on Sunday, when all the family can come, and we can go to Texas Roadhouse.) There are many reasons to worry about Brandon's future, but today I am just grateful to see his happy smile and hear his EEEEEEEEEEEs.

Tonight is one of those EEEEE nights, so loud, so long. I know that Brandon has a cold, the whole family does. I'm pretty sure that if any one thing is slightly off, like if he has a cold, or the weather changes, or a holiday is coming up, the EEEE's get more frequent. I am amazed at how resilient my family is; the noise would be enough to get on anyone's nerves, and cause headaches besides. But my family just goes on with what they're doing, offering a "Brandon, Shhh!" now and then.

Today I had my grandson, Gabriel, and it was so nice to see him not even look up when
Brandon walked by flicking his fingers and eeeeing. Just a few months ago, Gabe was frightened of Brandon when he would make his sounds. It got so bad that Gabe would hide his head in my shoulder and cry, but I just kept having Brandon touch him when he was quiet and I let Gabe watch Barney with Brandon, and now they are great friends! Brandon shares all his Barney toys with Gabe, and even gave him his chicken dance Elmo! (hurray, Elmo's not at my house anymore!)

Endless pizza

 So not every endless thing in my life is just about my sweet Brandon.

 Why did I ever give that first bite of pizza to my oldest son when he was 3? 

My mom never made pizza when I was growing up. Even though we lived just down the street from Shakey's Pizza Parlor, I only remember having pizza from there once or twice. The only other times we had it were when we went to my Uncle Pete's pizza parlor in Park City. So, it's incomprehensible to me how my kids can live on pizza. They could eat it everyday, really. And always pizza for birthdays.  I keep thinking they'll get tired of it, or hoping they'll get the flu after eating it and not want it anymore, like what happened to me with coconut. 

Jerry, Rachael and Nate

Don't misunderstand, I do enjoy a good pizza now and then. But all five of my boys want to eat pizza all the time. I can sort of control what my youngest, Nate, eats, and Brandon only eats certain kinds, like (Pizza hut's stuffed crust, Papa Johns, and little Caesars). But really, frozen pizza, take out pizza, pizza delivery, deli pizza, pizza bites, pizza rolls, pizza pockets, pizza sticks, homemade pizza. Enough! Let's have some salad, chicken soup, or chili! (my husband says all I ever want is endless tacos)

Endless driving

Jake and Brandon at Snowbird

 Brandon likes to ride. I used to enjoy driving, and at times I still do. But I never thought I'd ever drive as much as I have in the past 18 years. When Brandon was a baby, sometimes we would take him for at ride a night to see if he'd fall asleep. This used to work for our three older boys, so why wouldn't it work with Brandon? Not knowing that he had Autism and that was why he never slept more than 4 hours a night, we took turns driving him around town at midnight. It never worked. Brandon just loved driving, and would look out the window flapping his hands with glee. 


Later, when he was about 11, Brandon went through a tough time. We moved and he changed schools all at once.  Most Autistic kids don't do well with change, Brandon definitely does not. For 3 or 4 months all I did was drive. It was summer, and I got up to drive Brandon to his special ed summer school. We got in the car at 8:30 a.m.  We got out of the car at 11:00 p.m.  True. When we arrived at school, he wouldn't get out of the car. No amount of coaxing or bribing worked.  I turned around and went home, but he wouldn't get out of the car. He just sat in the driveway and cried, hit, bit his hands, banged his head, screamed.  Not knowing what else to do, I got back in and drove him.  We drove around town, went up the canyons, drove out to the country. I would go home off and on, but he would not get out. I would drive, sometimes tears streaming down my face as I cried with frustration, Brandon would giggle and EEEEE unless I turned towards home, then he would pull my hair and bite his hand.
Finally, about 9 or 10 p.m., I would just park and wait for my husband to get home from work. Together we bribed Brandon with candy and tickles, tugged and pushed, and got him in. 
It started all over the next day. 


You may ask, why take him out at all then? Well, because of the trauma of moving and changing schools, Brandon's behavior had become very aggressive. He was banging his head so hard we had to get a helmet to put on him, he didn't leave it on though. He would bite his hands until they bled, and kick and hit us. He had many severe tantrums/meltdowns. The only way he would stop would be to get in the car and drive.  I had to take him just to give my elderly mother and my other kids a break from the crying and screaming. 


After several months of searching for a new doctor who could help us, I finally found the best team of neuro-behavior specialists. Happily, Brandon started on some medication that helped his aggressive behavior, and his obsessive compulsive behavior.

Brandon still loves to ride, especially in the mountains,  and our recent trip to Snowbird was a blast. Brandon sometimes still will not get out of the car if he decides he isn't through driving, but usually we just tell him we'll go again tomorrow, and he happily comes inside to watch Barney.

endless pancakes...

Don't get me wrong, I love pancakes. Especially with peanut butter. About a year ago Brandon discovered that he likes them too. But only the pancake, no butter, no syrup.  And they have to be really brown. Once Brandon decides he likes something, he wants it nonstop.  So we cook pancakes all day. Everyday.  When the griddle burned out, I thought maybe that would be the end of it for a while. Nope. Brandon would carry around the super sized bag of pancake mix that we buy once a week, and a bowl.  Now understand, Brandon does not take no for an answer. But that's for another post.

 One day,my oldest son Austin came over and offered to make the pancakes.  Austin makes great pancakes, golden brown, perfectly round and all the same size. I was all for it, and as I relaxed in the other room with my grandson, I heard my son Nate exclaim, "Brandon! why did you throw those pancakes away?"   Brandon  was tearing the pancakes up into little pieces, and throwing them in the trash.  Why? Well, Austin's pancakes were golden brown, not dark brown.  However, because of Austin's perfect pancakes, I now have to be sure the pancakes I make are perfectly round and uniform. 

 Brandon has taken a few small breaks from pancakes, to enjoy his other obsessions; peanut butter balls, goldfish crackers, cheeseballs, but after a few days he always comes back to pancakes.

I guess I'd better stop writing,I've got pancakes to make.

Endless

I was so inspired to start blogging about my beautiful autistic son, Brandon,by a sweet, wonderful friend who also has a son with autism. Thanks LeAnn.


My blog is titled EEE is for endless, because Brandon, who is now 18, has no speech. I cannot call him nonverbal, because he makes many sounds, just not words. His favorite and most common sound to make is EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Very loudly. He says this mostly when he is happy, but also when he is anxious or agitated. He makes this sound for hours on end. Endlessly, day after day.


Other things that are endless with Brandon are: Barney (yes, the purple dinosaur)Barney videos, music, and toys; popcorn, chicken strips, diapers, no sleep, laughter, smiles, destroyed property, pica(the eating of non-food items)floods,mopping,laundry,torn clothing, sheets, and books, worry, Dr.'s visits, medication,Texas Roadhouse, kisses,pinches,scratches, and punches, giggles, walks, drives, McDonalds, diet Coke, and teddy bears. There is oh so much more. My life with Brandon has not been boring, but it has been hard. When he was diagnosed at age 3, I din't think I could deal with it. But I have learned that we are not given anything we cannot handle, and I would not change my life for anything. Brandon has brought more joy and love to my life than I could ever describe.